"There was this English butler out in India. One day, he goes in the dining room and what does he see under the table? A tiger. Not turning a hair, he goes straight to the drawing room. 'Hum, hum. Excuse me, my lord,' and whispering, so as not to upset the ladies: 'I'm very sorry my lord. There appears to be a tiger in the dining room. Perhaps his Lordship will permit use of the twelve bores?' They go on drinking their tea. And then, there's three gunshots. Well, they don't think nothing of it, this being out in India where they're used to anything. When the butler is back to refresh the teapots, he says, cool as a cucumber: 'Dinner will be served at the usual time, my lord. And I am pleased to say there will be no discernible traces left of the recent occurence by that time.' There will be no discernible traces of the recent occurrence by that time!"
The remains of the day (1993), James Ivory
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